Letters of Love
by TheUnknownWorld
Summary: LTiH. Short 'Letters of Love' between the McKenzie-Dawson/Elliott family. There is no continuum and each one will differ in topic. All reviews are welcome.
1. Chapter 1

_Dear Mum,_

_I'm writing this on Tuesday afternoon; the Tuesday after you and Kate got married. I imagine it will still be Tuesday when you read this. The pair of you have gone out with friends and I'm sat here at home, alone. Granny has just been around to make sure I'm not tearing the house apart and that I've eaten something._

_I'm not very good with words. It's true when you say that I portray my emotion on the Rugby pitch rather than through words. What I really want to say is though that I'm sorry. I, Lawrence Elliott, am sorry beyond words for the pain and anguish I have put you through recently. I now so wish I had seen you get married again, with the one person who makes you truly happy. It was a selfish move and one I'll regret for a lifetime. _

_William as ever put me in my place and let me know what an idiot I have been. He explained why we should all be pleased for you both. Since you and Kate got together I have to admit that I have never seen you so happy and free. It's like there has been a new lease of life set open within you. And I gain another sibling to wind up around the clock._

_I really am sorry, Mum._

_Yours always,_

_Lawrence Elliott._

Having settled herself on the bed she waited with the letter in her hands. Caroline entered the room shortly afterwards.

'_This was on the bed. It's for you Caroline'_ she uttered, handing the envelope over to its receiver with the words _'Mum McKenzie-Dawson'_ on the front in Lawrence's usual scrawl. The headmistress sat on the bed next to her newlywed (and heavily pregnant) wife. She opened the unlicked envelope and slipped the hand-written letter out. She held the paper tentatively with Kate peering over her shoulder. As the blonde woman read through the lines her face freely broke out into a smile. Kate watched her wife, examining her reaction.

'_He's full of surprises; that boy of yours'_ added Kate, kissing Caroline's cheek and placing a hand on the other woman's knee.


	2. Chapter 2

_Some letters may be written in a world where Kate did die. Some may not, and Kate may still be very much alive. This one is for Flora post Kate's death. Sorry_

Dear Flora,

I'm your big brother, William. Although I'm sure you will know who I am when either you read this or mum reads it to you when you're a bit older. As I scribble this on the train you're a mere week old. I've just been to your mummy's funeral.

Your Mummy, she was a beautifully wonderful person. I wish you had got to have known her properly. Kate was her name, but you will know that already. I first met Kate at Sulgrave (where Ma and Mummy taught together,) she taught me languages. When she and Ma got together Lawrence and I got to enjoy the real Kate. She was brilliant at the job she did, and she could play the piano as if it were a second language. Underneath all of that thought she could also light up a room with her smile and have people listen to her as if she held the world in her hand.

You, Flora Grace, meant so much to her; just knowing you existed completed her. She would have worshipped the ground you walk on and pandered to your every need. We all knew how much having a baby meant to her and she got so close to that dream. We've promised one another that you will grow up knowing all about your Mummy. You will know all her little quirks and perks, the things she loved to do and so on.

As these words are said aloud, probably by Ma, I hope we have managed to live up to your Mummy's expectations. I hope you're aware of how much she loved you, and indeed how much we all love you too. I hope we're doing the best job we can in bringing you up. If you haven't seen me recently then pick up the phone, give me a ring and order me back home to Harrogate. My place will always be by your side teaching you the wonders of the world.

All my love,

William x


	3. Chapter 3

Kate,

You're gone and I'm left here having to contemplate a life without you. It wasn't meant to be like this! I was meant to go to work and carry on leading Sulgrave whilst you stayed at home looking after our baby daughter; your only wish in life. Instead I've got to juggle running a school with looking after a newborn baby and the boys.

Looking after Flore-Grace isn't the problem though. The problem is I have to live a life without you by my side. I can't imagine it. I don't want to have to imagine it, let alone live it. You always were the love of my life, if only I had stood up and told the world sooner. You have the untold ability to light up a room just with your presence. I love your smile; your perfect smile. And those brown eyes did more talking than words ever could.

Our daughter will grow up knowing all about you, her fantastic mother. I'll make sure she knows so much about you that it's like you're here with us. Flora will grow up with the outdoors and grow to love hiking just as much as you did. I'll make sure she learns to play on the very piano that you were so proud of.

I love you, Kate. I hope you know just how much I love you. As I sit here and write this I keep expecting you to walk through the kitchen door with a cup of tea and to open your mouth for the soothing tone of your voice to escape. Or I expect to walk into the living room and find you sleeping peacefully with Flora in your arms. It's so unfair. You're the kindest person I've ever met, and just as I was able to make an honest woman out of you it all gets ripped from our clutches.

I will always love you.

Your dearest Caroline xx


	4. Chapter 4

Mrs Caroline McKenzie-Dawson.

By the time you read this we will be married, of that I have no doubt.

How do you put into words how much you love somebody? I've been sat here for the past hour with my pen in hand, poised and ready to go. You're currently out ferrying Lawrence around with his friends so I've taken the opportunity to write you a final letter as a single woman.

From the moment I set eyes on you I loved you. It's ridiculous, isn't it? I didn't know a single thing about you and yet I already wanted to spend a lifetime in your presence. It's been a hard slog getting to this point but given my time again I wouldn't change a thing.

In less than fourth-eight hours we will be 'spouses for life' and I can't think of anything more satisfying. Together we're going to raise a child. I can only thank you for giving me the opportunity of being a mother that I've longed for.

You, Caroline, are so magnificent.

All my love for now and always,

Mrs Kate McKenzie-Dawson.


	5. Chapter 5

Flora-Grace McKenzie-Dawson.

You, my beautiful daughter, are so wanted. My whole life has led up to this moment; the moment I finally held you in my arms for the first time. On this particular day in April at lunchtime Mama was by my side as we welcomed you into the world. I have never witnessed anything so perfect.

The room that day was filled with love. Mama, being her usual self, had spent the months beforehand fussing over me and making sure I didn't over do it. Together we got to share such a beautiful moment as you made your presence in the world known. Shortly afterwards you were laid on my chest with Mama lying next to me. The pair of us cried tears of joy. You my darling had completed our already loving family.

I watch you often sleeping soundly in your cot as the rest of the house run around like headless chickens. You're so innocent and so sweet that I can barely contain myself. Mama is so good with you; if I'm half the mum she is then I'll be happy.

As for the boys, they love you endlessly. Both of them seem to be at home far more these days. Mama and I have caught them talking to you when they think nobody is in earshot. By the sounds of it you have Rugby coaching off Lawrence to look forward to and trips to museums and the theatre with William. You really are very lucky to have such caring brothers. I know they will spend a lifetime protecting and loving you.

Love Mummy x


	6. Chapter 6

For my beautiful baby sister.

I'll never forget the first time I saw you, or the first time I held you in my arms. From those very moments I knew it was my job to protect you for a lifetime, and I will. You've taken my glory of being the youngest person in the house, Flora, but I think I can accept such defeat to you my darling sister.

I love watching you and seeing how you interact with the world. You notice the smallest of movements and watch them so deeply. Then when you sleep you're the picture of calm. Ma says you remind her of me when I was your age.

In my short years on this planet I've never seen Ma so happy. Marrying your mummy and then your arrival bought out a new side to her; a side that Willie and I never got to see before. Now, instead of lingering at work until the late hours she rushes home as soon as she can to cook tea and spend time with you before you go to bed.

I can't wait until you're a bit older so I can teach you how to kick a football and play rugby. Until that time comes though I look forward to watching you grow as a human and witness you take your first steps, as well as babbling your first words.

Granny and Grandad Alan are equally as smitten with you as we all are. Along with your mummy I often find them crowded around the grand piano in the living area singing along to old tunes. Grandad cradles you as you sleep and Granny rambles on about anything that takes her fancy.

You're a lucky kid little Flora; as are Willie and I. Your Mummy and Ma idolise you. There's nothing they wouldn't do for the three of us.

With love from your (better looking) brother,

Lawrence xx


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Mum,

Today is sixteen years since you died. Today is my 16th Birthday. Ma is standing over me as I write this, she says that this is a positive way to get our thoughts out. I've written you so many letters since I could hold a pen. Ma, Lawrence and William do the same in the hope that you know how we're feeling and watching over us up there.

I so wish I could have met you. I wish you could have watched me grow up and shared all the experiences Ma has had with me. I know what a beautiful woman you are, and how much you wanted and loved me. The house is littered with your belonging and photos. Everywhere I look there are reminders of the woman I never got to know personally.

Ma has ensured that I follow in your footsteps and learn the piano, as well as the many languages you adored. William is my go to for the English language and is always sending me a list of must read books. He's a grown man now with children of his own; Kate (named after you) and Tommy. You would have loved to see him transform from the shy teenager you knew into the funny dad he is. Lawrence, as promised, takes me to rugby matches and on bike rides when he has time. He too is a father now, and a great one at that.

I know you would be pleased at the life mum has given me, letting me venture in which ever direction I choose. Dad has a regular presence in my life, he's as mad as ever and still illustrating his beloved comic strips. Him and mum have grown to love each other in a way you would never have expected. Uncle John often comes around and creates havoc in the kitchen whilst listening to the Archers.

I think Ma finds this day of the year particularly difficult. She goes all out to celebrate my birthday for the child you so desperately wanted, but is then also aware that it too was the day she lost the love of her life. How impossibly difficult is that?

Thank you for wanting me mum, for giving me the opportunity of life. I only wish you were here to share it with Ma and me.

All my love,

your Flora-Grace


	8. Chapter 8

Mum, Kate and Flora-Grace,

You should find a photo enclosed with this letter, but before looking at that please read this letter. That includes you little Flora-Grace!

Roxy and I wanted to share our news with you face-to-face but then decided we would go about it the old fashioned way and therefore leaving you with a momento you can treasure.

Mum and Kate, you're both going to be Grandparents. The pair of us are delighted to announce that we are expecting our first child together. I can imagine your faces as you read this; another baby to coo over.

Having been together for five years now this baby is a happy surprise for us both, and one that we are really looking forward to meeting and watch grow. If we can be half the parents you both are then I will be more than happy. You two, as well as dad, gave us the best childhoods and upbringing anybody could ask for. Your love and support continue to this day. I realise I had a very privileged life, and still do.

With your help and guidance we hope to replicate such a life. We'll pass on many of the rules and traditions Lawrence and I had as a child and combine these with Roxy's family.

I hope you are all as excited as we are to meet your first grandchild.

Speak soon,

William and Roxy


	9. Chapter 9

**All reviews/ideas are welcome and help myself to evolve around what you, the reader, want**.

Kate,

My darling Kate, you're a mother now. I've never been as proud of another person as I was when I stood beside you whilst you welcomed our beautiful daughter into the world. Your whole body tortured from the forty-eight hours of labour you had gone through, your eyes told us all that, but still you were determined to give our child the best drug-free start in life.

I'm sorry, these words may not be coherent or make any sense to you but I knew I had to put the first few hours down into words. I wanted to write a letter for you to keep. Five hours ago you gave birth to a healthy baby girl. As I write this our infant is sleeping soundly in her transparent crib, besides the hospital bed you're snoring in, whilst I sit in the high-backed chair completely in awe of you, my astounding wife.

Your dream of being a mum to someone is now complete and I have no doubt you will more than fulfil your role in her life. From the moment our screaming daughter was placed on your bare chest you comforted and calmed her as if you had been doing it for years. You took to breast feeding like it was second nature, and changed her first nappy stress free. My love for you (little did I know) continues to grow and reach new levels, just as I think I could love you no more.

Mrs McKenzie-Dawson, you have taught me so much in such a short space of time. You love without limit and boundaries. And I get to love you for the rest of our lives together. I'm so lucky; so very lucky.

I'm sorry for standing in the way of you having a baby. Now she's here, and from the moment I knew you were pregnant, I have loved her just as much as I love the boys. In the few hours she's been in our lives I've gazed at her so many times and each time it continues to hit me just how perfect she is. Even now, less than half a day in, I can scarcely imagine a life without her. I don't want to have to imagine a life without her.

I don't make promises unless I know I can keep them. I've already held our unnamed child close and whispered in her ear all the promises I will fulfil. I promise to love you both with everything I have. Everything I do is for the two of you, as well as William and Lawrence. As she grows up I will give her the space and freedom to explore who she is- God if only I had of had the same opportunity. Together we raise a wonderful child with two loving mothers and two besotted older brothers.

Thank you Kate; thank you so much.

I love you.

Caroline xxx


	10. Chapter 10

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Kate,

You've put up with so much, especially from me. Whilst William sat back and welcomed you into our family with open arms I refused to follow him and instead have caused as much trouble as possible. What you have to understand, and I'm sure you do, is that I love my dad. Only now do I see the pain he has caused mum. I turned a blind eye as she broke and had to rebuild herself and her life. All I really wanted was my parents to reunite and for our lives to go back to how they once were. I was wrong.

I love you, Kate; it will never be in the same way I that I love both of my parents but I do love you. I love you for the happiness and warmth you have bought into our lives, and the beautiful sister you have given William and I. I love you for the stability and security you have given us. Most of all I love you for accepting me; this challenging and irritating boy, and never giving up.

When I catch the way mum looks at you, and you at mum, I really start to understand what love is. You love each other with such intensity that I know you will see your lives out together. All I've ever really wanted for Ma is for her to be so happy she longs for nothing else.

I suppose what this letter is really meant to say is thank you; thank you Kate for being you. Thank you for loving my Ma without boundaries and without questions. Don't ever change, we all love you.

Lawrence.


	11. Chapter 11

**All reviews are welcome, they help indicate in which direction you want new chapters to go in. Thanks.**

William,

My dear William, my first born, my rock. Today is your twenty-first birthday and I want to celebrate that in public for all to see but at the same time I want to keep you at home as a small boy forever more; the latter of which I know isn't possible. You have grown into a magnificently beauPreviews help tiful and clever man. Everything you do has purpose and meaning. You put everybody else's needs before your own and work so hard to ensure those around you are happy, safe and feel needed.

Twenty-one years ago when I held you in my arms for the first time, after a fairly straightforward labour and birth, I knew there and then I would never love anybody anymore than I loved you. I was right; I love you, Lawrence and Flora-Grace all in equal measures, but never will I love anybody more than the three of you.

I need to thank you as well for the support and acceptance you have shown me when your father left us which was then followed by a messy divorce and my announcement that I loved another woman. None of it ever fazed you; instead all you ever wanted (and want) is for me to be happy. I watch you with your sister, and despite the nineteen year age gap you're so good with her. When you're not around she talks about you incessantly, as if you hold the answer to everything. As for Lawrence, he respects all your thoughts and opinions and looks to you for guidance.

I'm so very proud of you William. You have flourished beyond my wildest dreams. Sometimes I catch something you say or do and I wonder how I got so lucky to have you in my life. I'm certain that whatever twists and turns appear in your journey you will deal with them in a sensible and rational manner. One day, Willie, you will make someone a loving husband, and then after that a wonderful father. I can only wait for those days to see your character develop further.

Never change, William.

Happy 21st my dear boy.

All my love, now and always.

Mum x


	12. Chapter 12

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Dear Flora-Grace McKenzie-Dawson.

Today we let our little girl go as we watch you marry Sebastian, the man you love so very much. Having you in our lives for the past twenty-one years has been an absolute privilege and we both look forward to the years that lie ahead.

As we sit here writing this letter together we can't help but reminisce over the past and smile. Mum had longed for so many years to be a mother to a child of her own and then you entered our lives, making your presence known instantly as you screamed the delivery room down seconds after birth. As a married couple that was by far our happiest moment together. The hours that followed were dreamlike as we got to know this newborn child and watched you intensely as your eyes scanned the room. It was perfect. William and Lawrence were (and still are) just as taken with you. The pair met you at just an hour old and since then have done everything in their power to protect and love you. In return you have filled their lives with a constant stream of worry and pink items.

Throughout the last two decades we have watched you transform from this beautifully helpless infant into a strong and intelligent adult, and we couldn't be prouder. Coupled with the years are countless memories- like the time you were playing football with Lawrence and ended up with a split eyebrow for your troubles; the scar is still there today as a reminder.

You take after Mum in so many ways, with your eyes that can talk more than words and your natural musical ability. Seeing you regularly perform at concerts as you grew up, both singing and playing the piano, was magical. Then in other ways you take after Ma; you're articulate and logical with the ability to handle any situation you find yourself in.

As we watch both William and Lawrence give you away today with both your mums waiting at the altar opposite Sebastian our emotions will be understandably mixed. We love you so dearly and all we have ever wanted is for you to be happy and comfortable with your life. We know Seb makes you beyond happy and he will look after you, and vice versa. At the other end of the spectrum though we wish we could go back in time and savour you as our little girl for a while longer. It only seems like yesterday that you were waking us up at four am to see if Santa had visited during the night. But we know we have to let you go to build a family and a life of your own.

Whatever happens in the future, Flora-Grace, both Mum and Ma will be right here ready to offer you a hug when you're upset and words of love and support when you need help. We can't promise that we will know the solution to every problem but we can try. Failing that of course there are your brothers who adore you now just as much as they did twenty-one years ago.

Don't ever forget how outrageously proud we are of you and the woman you have grown into, and continue to explore. You have bought nothing but love and light into our lives.

Keep flying, our magnificent girl.

All our love on your special day,

Mummy and Ma xx


	13. Chapter 13

Flora-Grace,

I've never been particularly great with words but today I struggle to even form a sentence. I doubt any of us will ever be able to put into words how we feel again. Having you in our lives for the last ten days has been an exhilarating mess. Complications arising during your birth left you fighting for your life and to have you in our lives as long as we did was more than we could have asked.

It's true though that I didn't want you in my life at all, that was until William dragged me to visit you when we got the phone call that both you and your mummy had taken a turn for the worst. Right in that moment I realised how much I love you; both of you.

When you weren't sedated it was magical watching you interacting with the lights of your hospital room and the voices of those around you. You certainly knew your Mummy and Ma's voices because every time they spoke your eyes snapped open. I only got to hold you twice in your short life but for those combined twenty minutes I will cherish the sight, smell and weight of you for the rest of my life.

Both Willie and I were asleep when we got the phone call that nothing else could be done for you. That news was far worse than hearing my Ma and Dad were separating; the phone call bought all our worlds down crashing around us. Together, with Granny and Alan, we raced to the hospital for your final moments.

We had five beautiful hours with you after that call. Each of us took it in turns to hold you and tell you stories without the interruption of bleeping machines. It was a peaceful death. Four hours after being taken off ventilation your tiny and fragile body succumbed to its incompatibility with life. You died peacefully in your Mummy arms with Ma right beside you and all of us surrounding them. In the background classical music played just as Mummy wished.

Your ten days of bitter-sweet life have taught me more than I have ever learnt before, or will ever learn again. You, Flora-Grace, have taught us to focus on the moment because nothing else matters. We're all understandably absolutely heartbroken at your passing and we often find ourselves questioning why you deserved this cruel twist of fate, but none of us can imagine the pain your Mummy and Ma are going through- and will continue to go through for the rest of their lives.

Your Mummy had longed for your existence for decades. We had all watched her excitedly prepare for your arrival; her chance to watch you grow under her watchful eye had been snatched away. Her eyes are now a constant shade of tinged grief, and her shoulders heavy with the weight of all our loss.

I promise with my utmost strength and love that I will spend the rest of my time here on Earth looking after Mummy and Ma. Our worlds have changed forever, but everything we do will be in your memory.

Fly high, our beautiful Flora-Grace.

All my love,

Your big and loving brother, Lawrence.


	14. Chapter 14

Caroline,

Once, in the early days of our relationship, this letter would have contained my outpouring of love for you and then it would have been signed off with something cheesy. However, over two decades later a lot has changed. I am no longer the main part of your life and instead exist in the shadow of being your ex-husband. Together though we share two brilliantly fantastic boys whom we both love dearly and numerous memories which we look back on fondly.

Admittedly, the divorce that ensued was entirely my fault. I became blinkered by what I thought was love for a woman whom was not my wife. It was a foolish sequence of events which ultimately cost me the security of a family and marriage. You were right that particular fateful night when you threw all of my belongings down the stairs; you really were a damn fantastic wife.

Only now do I see just how much I was holding you back. Towards the latter years of our union we somehow lost are spark in between work and looking after our family. I now know it had been several years since you had even contemplated racing home to my presence, and I don't blame you.

I know your marriage to Kate gives you something I never could; love. I watch from afar at just how comfortable the pair of you are together and I realise you never really looked at me with the same glint in your eyes. I also know her influence in the boys lives is a positive one; they both respect her hugely, as well as the addition of Flora-Grace.

Having now lost two children; our daughter the year before Lawrence arrived and my daughter with Judith, I realised that I never really grieved for what we lost together. Somehow our daughter's beautiful existence became something of a distant memory and something we never spoke about. As much as I love William and Lawrence, I miss the person she might have grown into and I know you do too. As a father, losing a child is horrendous. As a mother, I imagine the pain is even greater. I wish I had taken the time to talk to you about it and for that I am sorry.

I hope that one day you may be able to forgive me for my past mistakes and for my lack of ability to ever fully grow up. Thank you for giving me two wonderful sons and two decades of bliss, Caroline.

John.


	15. Chapter 15

Lawrence,

From the moment you were born your father and I knew you would be the complete opposite to William. Unlike your brother it took us hours to settle you each night, and then as you grew up holding your attention for more than a few moments was near impossible. However, it doesn't mean that we have ever loved you any less. We have always ensured you're both loved equally and fairly.

Having being bought up by two parents whom quite obviously no longer loved each other I always promised myself that my own children would feel loved and accepted for who they are. I hope you feel I achieved this. As you grew up we were all more than happy to indulge your new hobbies and interests in the hope it would give you some sort of direction in your life. Rugby, it turned out, is where your heart lay. Your skills on the pitch far outweighed any academic talent you showed. I know you won't mind me saying that because we have always spoken openly and frankly about it. Lawrence, you excelled in some subjects and in others it was a nightmare getting you to do the homework required. I wouldn't change a moment of it though. Seeing the world through your teenage eyes always was a beautiful experience.

As you have grown into this strong and thoughtful young man I see before me I have been blown away by the compassion you show to others. I can't pinpoint the exact moment you grew up; one moment you were moaning about going to school and the next you had moved out to train with the under 21's England Rugby team. Seeing your eyes light up when they accepted you to train with them made my heart burst with pride. You, my dear boy, had worked so hard to gain a place and your dream had come true. Then, weeks later, watching you walk onto the pitch in front of the tens of thousands at the stadium and then the millions watching from home, I knew this is what you were meant to do with your life.

Your acceptance of my marriage to Kate and the arrival of Flora-Grace proved to me that underneath that hard exterior was a boy with great emotion. We all love you so much. Flora idolises your existence and takes great pleasure in announcing to her friends that her big brothers plays for England, I'm not sure she completely understand what it means just yet though. We frequently find her running around in the oversized strip you bought her to grow into.

As for Kate and I, and your father along with William, we can't wait to see where your life will continue to take you. Helping you move into the house you had worked so hard to buy was monumental. I knew then you were no longer my little boy.

Yesterday I visited you at the private Harrogate hospital where we were greeted by the sight of you sitting in your private suite cradling your newborn daughter. Zara was lying in her hospital bed beaming ear-to-ear, the happiness written in her eyes. The role of dad suits you perfectly. I can only expect over the next eighteen years of your daughter's life you and Zara will create your own rules for parenthood; a fair but strict father with madness, love and laughter thrown in for good measure.

You make me beyond proud, Mr Lawrence Elliott.

Mum xx


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